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Coping with Grief and Loss: Three Gentle Ways to Begin Healing
Are you coping with grief and loss? It is one of the deepest pains we experience as human beings. Love opens our hearts—and when we lose someone we love, it can feel like the ground beneath us has disappeared.
As the poet Kahlil Gibran wrote:
“For even as love crowns you so shall it crucify you.
Even as it is for your growth so is it for your pruning.
Even as it ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall it descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.”
Psychologists consistently rank the death of a spouse among the most stressful life events a person can endure. In other words, what you are going through is not small. It is not weakness. It is one of the most profound challenges a human heart can face.
Grief often brings self-doubt:
- Did I do enough?
- Did I say goodbye properly?
- Did they know how much I loved them?
- Can I survive this alone?
These thoughts can become self-punishing. They deepen the suffering.
Below are three powerful but gentle exercises to help you process your loss and begin moving—slowly, compassionately—toward healing.
Exercise 1: The Empowering Nickname
Grief can shrink your sense of identity. This exercise helps you reclaim strength.
Choose words that represent healing, courage, resilience, right action, forgiveness, or peace. For example:
- Resilient
- Empowered
- Beacon of Strength
- Forgiving
- At Peace
- Divinely Protected
- Strong, Whole and Effective
- One Who Feels Her Feelings and Lets Them Go
(That last one is especially important. Grief comes in waves. Let it move through you.)
Next, add an empowering noun:
- Goddess
- Angel
- Heroine
- Warrior
- Guardian
For example:
- Forgiving Angel
- Resilient Warrior at Peace
- Strong, Whole and Effective Heroine
- Divinely Protected Guardian
Write your chosen name down. Place it somewhere you can see daily. Over time, you may find it gently reshapes how you see yourself—not broken, but becoming.
Exercise 2: Breathing with Brief Affirmations
Breath is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system. In yogic traditions inspired by Patanjali, breath and focused awareness are central to emotional balance.
Try this:
- Take a slow, deep breath in.
- Pause briefly.
- On the pause, silently say one word that speaks to you.
- Exhale slowly.
Possible affirmations:
- Compassion
- Courage
- Inner Peace
- Resilience
- Strength
- Connection
- Present Moment Awareness
- Self-Forgiveness
- Divine Protection
- Clear Thinking
Choose five that resonate most deeply. Practice daily—even for just five minutes. Notice how your body softens over time.
Exercise 3: Tapping to Release Emotional Energy
This gentle bilateral tapping can help calm emotional intensity.
- Cross your arms so your palms rest on the front of your shoulders.
- Gently tap left shoulder, then right shoulder—alternating sides.
- Do not tap both at the same time.
Close your eyes. As you tap, allow the story of your loss to come to mind. Every few minutes, pause and take a deep breath. Notice the sensations in your body. Let the energy shift and settle.
If strong feelings remain, continue tapping and quietly speak your thoughts to yourself. There is no need to censor. Simply allow.
A Final Word
Grief is not something you “get over.” It is something you learn to carry differently.
There will be waves. Some days will feel heavy. Some days, lighter. Both are part of healing.
You are not weak for hurting. You are human for loving.
If you would like, I can also:
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