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“I still love my ex, and I think he still loves me. Should I get back with him or try to forget him?” – Maryanne, Baltimore
When our expert dating coaches and relationship specialists explore the question of “should I get back with my ex,” we often find that even after a relationship officially ends, your ex might resume texting, emailing, or even calling to meet up. But before rushing back and pretending everything is normal, ask yourself: What has actually changed?
Should You Get Back with Your Ex?
Our advice to Maryanne was simple: allow some contact—but don’t make it too easy. For example, during the first few interactions with her ex, Maryanne asked if he had reflected on why the relationship ended. She scheduled only a short coffee date and made sure she had plans afterward. The goal was to avoid falling back into old patterns, especially physical intimacy, before seeing genuine change. This careful approach helped her gauge his sincerity.
Seven Key Signs to Decide if You Should Reconnect
To answer the question “should I get back with my ex,” focus on actions, not words. Real transformation shows itself in follow-through and consistency. Observe if your ex has made meaningful progress since your breakup—has he addressed his past mistakes, and have his doubts about you or the relationship improved? Look for at least three of these seven signs:
- He shows genuine worry or concern for you.
- You have honest, deep conversations about the relationship—what was missing and what you both want moving forward.
- He acknowledges his mistakes and offers a sincere apology (without defensiveness).
- He makes efforts to make amends.
- He expresses appreciation for the relationship, recalling why it was meaningful.
- He actively appreciates you and what you contribute to his life.
- If he previously cheated, he has ended contact with the other person.
Next Steps if He Shows Signs of Change
If your ex demonstrates three or more signs and genuinely wants to reconcile, it’s crucial to have serious conversations about your future together. Determine what it will take to elevate the relationship to a healthier, more committed level. Couples counseling or a session with a professional Love Mentor can help you navigate this safely.
Remember Maryanne? Her ex showed at least three key signs and followed through with thoughtful gestures. With guidance from her relationship coach, she set firm boundaries and expectations. Within a year, she and her ex were happily married.
If you’re asking yourself, “should I get back with my ex?”
You can reach out today for a personal gift from our expert coaches. We’ll match you with a skilled dating coach to help you navigate your unique situation with your ex and build the relationship you truly want. This is time-limited, so click here now to schedule your Complimentary Breakthrough Session by phone or Skype—it could change your love life.