Letting Go of the One Who Got Away

Do you find yourself comparing every new dating prospect to the One Who Got Away? Hoping he’ll return so you can live happily ever after?

The One Who Got Away might be:

• An ex.
• A crush from years ago.
• Someone you never even officially met.

Sometimes he left you. Sometimes you left him, thinking it was the right choice. Sometimes life intervened unexpectedly — another partner, distance, or even death.

It can feel impossible to move on because no one seems to measure up to this idealized figure.

Even if it was just a few dates, you may have built up a fantasy that feels hard to let go. It seemed destined — and then he became the one who got away.

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It’s Time to Let Go

I honor your pain. Truly. But now it’s time to release him — and here’s why:

You deserve a man who wants you.

• Someone who would move mountains to be with you.
• A man who makes you feel safe, seen, and fully accepted.
• Someone who celebrates your life and wants to hear about your day.

If you stay focused on the One Who Got Away, your life is on “hold.” Every new guy you meet is compared to a fantasy — and none measure up. Meanwhile, the loneliness, sadness, and frustration quietly build inside.

Remember: the right guy will make you feel amazing, worthy, and cherished. The One Who Got Away isn’t doing that — at least not right now.

If it’s meant to be, he’ll come back. But for now, you must move forward.

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Two Powerful Exercises to Break the Obsession

1. Write Your Own Prescription for Love

Imagine you are your own best friend and love mentor. What loving advice would you give yourself about the One Who Got Away?

Write it down. Post it somewhere private — your closet, journal, or bathroom mirror — so you see it every day.

For example, one client wrote:
“You have to choose men who are into you! Stop chasing a ghost. You want love and happiness — don’t waste another second waiting for someone who isn’t here.”

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2. The Loveless Eulogy

Obsession keeps you stuck in self-sabotage. Take a moment to imagine:

• Living with these patterns for the next 5 years. How will you feel?
• Ten years from now? How will it impact your happiness, confidence, and sense of connection?

Now the hardest part: imagine living this way your entire life.

Then, in your journal, write a eulogy describing the life of loneliness and love that never fully arrived.

Ask yourself: Do I want this to be my story?

You don’t have to live that life. You can keep repeating the same patterns, or you can choose to change them. The choice — and the freedom — is yours.